Have you ever felt incredible sensitivity to disapproval or rejection?
Have you ever felt deep, intense, raw, overwhelming emotions that you just can't reign in?
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the expectations of society and the daily demands placed upon you?
There are so many things to keep track of, organize, manage. You can't remember things.
You disappoint people. You disappoint yourself. You just feel despair.
You may self harm.
You start to believe you are the problem. "If only I was better at...(insert the verb)".
These are messages you have heard over and over; 'if only she applied herself better to schoolwork, studied harder, paid more attention', 'why can't you keep your room tidy'? Your bank card was declined, again! 'Why can't you manage your money better'?
The babysitter is angry because you were late, again.
Sh_t!! You forgot to sign the permission slip for your child's activity! And they were disappointed, again. And on it goes.
You are shamed. And blamed.
You are 'too much', or 'not enough'.
Could this be YOU?
Over the years, the messages add up. You internalize them. They create a negative core self image. Negative messages reinforce low self esteem and self worth. 'Other people are better, more capable than me'. You may find yourself anxious or depressed. Often that is a result of the persistent negative messages. Or being worried about forgetting, or saying something you didn't mean, or not measuring up. Again.
And when you do finally get a diagnosis of ADHD you are relieved but also angry, resentful and sad:
'How come no-one realized this was what was going on with me'?
ADHD in women is unique. The demands placed upon women are great, the expectations high and unrealistic. Add in ADHD.
Recipe for major challenges.
ADHD in women also looks different because of our hormonal cycles; be it in emerging adolescence, monthly cycling, or in peri/menopause. Very few practitioners understand ADHD presentation in women. And for good reason. The research is sparse.
The knowledge and resources are only just emerging. It is time for this to change.
So, where does this leave us? It leaves us with a new message:
It is NOT you.
It is what you are living with. You are living with neurodivergence.
This changes EVERYTHING!
We can begin to see ourselves in a new light. Love ourselves. Understand ourselves. Forgive ourselves, and those who didn't know different.
Help is available. Hope will come.
The first line treatment - after educating your loved ones ;) is medication. Then exercise. Creative outlets are also really important.
Treating ADHD without medication is tough, but you can achieve success.
Let me share in and support you with the journey of healing from the pain and hurt, and learn to manage your ADHD.
Let's leverage ADHD to your advantage!!
- Sarah is an ADHD-Certified Clinical Services Provider (ADHD-CCSP). Her specialty is ADHD female presentation.
- Sarah is a member of the Canadian ADHD Resource Alliance (CADDRA).
- In addition to counselling older youth, adults and seniors, Sarah has facilitated groups for parents of children and youth with ADHD.
Resources
I partner with beyondADHD for clients seeking an assessment.
Their online services are affordable, comprehensive, timely and available across Canada.
Trained Nurse Practitioners follow Canadian treatment guidelines.
Their online services are affordable, comprehensive, timely and available across Canada.
Trained Nurse Practitioners follow Canadian treatment guidelines.
I also partner with Damsel Financial Coaching
Many people with ADHD struggle to stay on top of finances. Danielle is fantastic at helping create easy to follow household budgets that help you take control over your financial decisions.
Other free resources:
'How To' ADHD - You Tube channel
ADDitude magazine
Caddac - Canadian ADHD Awareness
Suggested ADHD experts for the latest in research and evidence based practises:
Russell Barkley
Edward Hallowell
John Ratey
Many people with ADHD struggle to stay on top of finances. Danielle is fantastic at helping create easy to follow household budgets that help you take control over your financial decisions.
Other free resources:
'How To' ADHD - You Tube channel
ADDitude magazine
Caddac - Canadian ADHD Awareness
Suggested ADHD experts for the latest in research and evidence based practises:
Russell Barkley
Edward Hallowell
John Ratey
Banner photo courtesy of Emma Rozier